Leaving Primary School is Expensive for Many Families

It has been quite an emotional week as my younger son left Primary School yesterday  and he and many of his friends were a bit overwhelmed by the time the leavers party finished.  I say leavers party but apparently a lot of people were referring to it as a Prom  and had spent the appropriate amount of cash they deemed fit for such an occasion.
 The children left the School in a party bus and stayed on this an hour then had an organised party complete with red carpet and food for a further two hours. The party bus was split cost wise between all us parents as was the venue which we had at a reduced rate due to a fellow mum working there.  I know my son enjoyed it all but you sort of feel, where does it end as these things seem to get bigger with every passing year.
  When my older son left four years ago these celebrations were already an expected thing but they had a stretch hummer to take them to a nearby restaurant where they all had tea then ran around outside.  I might also add they remained in their school clothes for the whole time.
 Now, the parents have been discussing outfits for weeks! The children mostly had expensive prom gowns and some boys had waistcoats and ties. My son was asked if he would like a shirt, he replied no I have clothes already I will wear chinos and a T-shirt (good lad I raised him well) I was also pleased to see that a couple of his closest friends were also dressed similar to him, you know, clean and looking like eleven year old boys not mini adults.   He told me one of the girls dresses cost £300! I thought that wont fit long they grow so fast at the moment!
 I may be cynical but what has happened where people feel the need to spend those amounts of cash on a disco? Lets face it that's what it is, I know they would all have loved the party just the same without all the bling as long as they were together having fun.  It's a shame that many of them are already programmed to feel that pull towards image and what their outfits cost. Clearly it is already in their minds that it is important for them to be comparing dress prices. One of the boys had also mentioned to my son that his suit was £500, not sure if he was exaggerating but again it shows that some kids think this stuff is what matters.
What really made me laugh is that a TA spoke to me on the drive and said these have been playing on the adventure playground (with a tut as she said it) gesturing to my son and his friends. I just smiled, they had to wait for the bus to arrive for forty minutes while children got dressed, had hair straightened, applied make up etc. Then posed Hello magazine style for the camera, my son and friends were on the adventure playground  after one photo running around in their change of clothes, being eleven. I was pleased to hear this because he is after all, a child and these years pass too quickly.

I wonder what will happen next year at the same school to top the event as that seems to be what is happening, I'll never know as both my children have left.  Now that is over we all have the expensive uniform to buy, and all the necessities for secondary school, fortunately as I didn't blow the family budget on one outfit we will be fine.

They are all such a super bunch of kids and have been really good friends all through school I just hope they don't lose too much of that as they move into their new school and popularity becomes the thing to aspire to for many. 

I did feel that if this is happening at most schools now it must be a tremendous strain for a lot of families.  people who are already worrying about kitting children out for the new school year but also don't want to disappoint their child.

 Maybe if schools all decided to have the end of year  6 disco there it might eliminate some of the expanding costs of limousines, buses and venues which all have to be booked and arranged sometimes a year in advance.  I know teachers will be groaning as these things have to be supervised and many just want to get going at the end of term. I work in school myself so I know what I'm suggesting but I just think it would really take some of the pressure off some families out there and maybe even a little off the kids.

Used Goods Save You Money, Lose the Fear

I was thinking about this the other day when we had a school fair. I was on the toy stall and lots of children were quite happily paying a few pence for their toys when some one said to me 'oh I don't like these things they make me sad'. Well I found this a little confusing as it was an adult who mentioned it and no one was making her buy anything.  Also why is it sad? The children were all very happy with what they bought but then I suppose they have yet to be conditioned otherwise. Also mountains of debt is much sadder I think, some people would never buy used clothes but are happy to use credit cards for new ones and leave no money for bills.

Also it is quite acceptable to most to buy used cars or houses so why the stigma when it comes to clothes and furniture?  I think a lot of it comes down to making a statement for some people, they think  that by buying second hand they might be suggesting they are not very well off.  Some people find this sort of image very important, the truth of it being that people who are better off are the ones who make careful financial choices.  They are more likely to shop used, pay upfront and seek out a bargain.  They are also less likely to be drawn by the designer label as this is only ever going to drain your finances.

I read an amazing post by Mr Money Moustache about saving ten bucks at a time to become rich (about £5.80) now he is not saying the odd amount, this is about all those little decisions that make up these amounts and then eliminating them.  Nobody says you have to give up everything, but lets face it, if we really want something we will try to obtain it so why is this not the case for most people with savings and independence.  It gets me a little annoyed when people think oh you have this and that so it's ok for you.  Well  no it makes me really mad! We both left school at 16 and have worked ever since and saved, we also live within our means and don't ever go down the designer label route. If we were to find ourselves out of work we would make a job  out of looking for a new one and would cut back  further to tide us over.  We would not wait for it to land in our laps as we never have and it makes me crazy that so many people just take and feel sorry for them selves.  What can you do? What can you sell that you no longer need? Also if you are out of work how many jobs have you applied for today?  If the answer is zero why?  There is stuff out there and yes there may be loads of people chasing those jobs but if you are out of work you should be one of them doing the chasing, all the time! There is also an article on Mr Money Moustache that suggests for every saving you make and permanently erase from your weekly expenditure the less you will need forever!  I think that is something worth considering. 

Used! So what, get over it.

Garden Makeover Update

I posted a few weeks ago about the bottom of my back garden which was in need of some attention.  We had bought the garden seat and my husband had made another piece of seating to go around the tree.  The final job was to sort the fencing and remove the middle fence that divided the top of the garden in half in that area.  We used the fence panel that came on the back of the seat we bought, (it was supposed to be fixed to it but we used it as a fence panel) to match up the fence at the bottom and just painted with stain we already had. My husband used random large rocks we had to make a little wall in front and to make a step down, this was because it was too high to level.

This is how it looks now

This is what the tree seat area looked like at first with the old fence around it on both sides.

This is it now and I would say we are finished. We have lived here for 7 years and everything we have done to the garden has happened a bit at a time.  We have saved up and done each bit when we could.  The fences on the right got replaced a few years ago when the original ones blew down in the wind, decking has been done in different areas over the years and is maintained by my husband, when he sees the stain on offer he buys it and puts it away for when it is needed. Like I said yesterday pots have accumulated over time.

We do not know a lot about gardening but fortunately my husband is good at woodwork and if I have an idea for what would look nice he can usually make something and we try to do it on a budget (remember the tree seat materials were free)

We will spend a lot of time in the garden over the coming months so I think it is worth the time and money.