Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Fitting in

I thought today I would share some thoughts on a book I'm reading that has struck a chord with me.  I have not finished it yet but the central character doesn't feel like he fits in anywhere other than at home. Now I'm not saying I feel this way but we all have times I'm sure when we feel we don't belong at a place and this could be because of the actions of other people, those people not being kind, or just plain cruel.  The central character Lorenzo tries to behave like others to fit in so he will get less hassle for being different.  I would not do this. I think you should be true to yourself, express your opinions especially if asked for them but do so in an appropriate way.  You should be kind to others but not a doormat, work hard at your job without being exploited, also you should be able to express your concerns to your boss if something is happening that is wrong.  If your friends like who you are they won't only like like you because you say yes to their every word. At the same time they won't sit in a room with people who are criticising you unjustly and say nothing because they fear for their own popularity.
This is all a very cryptic rant  but I just have to say that in a couple of weeks I will leave a job I have loved for  many years  because a new person took a lead position last year, called a meeting to ask about things that might not be going smoothly and because I politely stated a situation that wasn't working this person decided I didn't fit in.  They have underhandedly made this very clear for some time now, even now as I leave they have advertised my position at a higher level, the same level I have asked for but been refused as it was not available, but hey 'I didn't fit in'.  I know I have always worked hard, done my best and not been unkind, other people express shock at this persons behaviour but never in front of them as they are afraid to do so. In front of them they make sure they act so 'they fit in' . I have never had this situation arise with a boss before but I'm sure there are people out there who have.  I have always been respected for getting on and doing my work to the best of my ability but I suppose some bosses are just not strong enough to deal  with anything other than people who stroke their egos, even when they are wrong.
I will start my new job as me, do my best and work hard, I will also pray that my new boss respects me for that.
I might also add I am not the only person to have left due to these reasons, three wonderful strong friends have gone on to pastures new, we meet up regularly as ourselves, don't edit our thoughts to fit in and most importantly share good friendship.  For these people I am eternally grateful to the job I will leave behind and the good times I have had there.
If any one would like to read the book ( which probably has nothing to do with my ramblings) there is a link

                                                                    here  Me and You .
I would also be interested to hear more thoughts on this, has anyone been treated in a similar way? How do you stay true to yourself?


  1. Thank you for sharing.
    I am retired now, but can empathise with you and I have had similar experiences during my working life.
    You have done absolutely the right thing, I do wish you well in your new job.
    Things work out for the best and you will be appreciated in your new role.
    The managers and bosses who make others lives a misery, are insecure do get their comeuppance.
    Love from Pam in Texas.x

    1. Thank you Pam. I can only assume they are very unhappy to behave in this way. xx


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